Yeah Ambrose is my good friend's name..He is from UK...a business man aged 39 years old...after what had happened with me and juhairi..i was so scared to talk to others...i dont trust anyone here after all...so he came..he become my good friend...he talk too much..makes a much joke as he can....gave more advice and he does not the same like others...i dont y...i feel like so happy when i got the chance to talk to him...he is a funny guy..smart & intelligent..even i praise Allah cause gave me such a good friend...he accompany me everyday....after work i will wait for him in front of my laptop..
But then Yesterday...we were fighting..the thing is because of Juhairi...I told him that Juhairi message me for peace and he start talking rubbish and asked me to go back to Juhairi..He start told me that he does not believe in girls and said what is happening to me now is what happened to him so many many years back. And he scared. He said how close i am with him and how strong i tried to avoid Juhairi...at the last my story will gonna be the same....and he will lose me...and now he kept quite...he asked me to stop texting him...stop calling him...and i lost..
i missed him so much...and i cries so bad in this few days...dont know y....it is not because of love or what...but this is because of something i call friendship...and i dont know how to re-start my life to the same again with out him...cause he is the one who stop all my tears after what happened between me and Juhairi....he never stop makes me laughing everyday with his stupid jokes...never stop giving me advice...
Now my life changed again...and i feel so lost and tired..how i wish i could left this painful life just for a couple of hours and rest in peace...i felt so tired...my heart and my soul can take all this burdens...it kills me everyday...and the tears cant stop coming out.....i am sooooo tired....
Ya Allah maafkan aku kerana menangisi untuk perkara yang xperlu nie Ya Allah...tp aku xkuat....aku rasa sedih sangat...ujian apakah ini Ya Allah..Kau ragut satu persatu kegembiraan ku...Kau gantikan dengan air mata yg sangat banyak setiap malam...Ya Allah aku penat....bantu lah aku Ya Allah...kirimkan la aku sebuah kegembiraan abadi...Seorang teman hidup yg menyayangi ku...serta Teman hidup yg sentiasa berada disampingku ketika susah dan senang...aminn ya rabbal alamin....Aku terima Ya Allah ujian mu ini..dan aku harap aku masih punya saki baki kekuatan utk menempuh hari2 esok...aminnn :'(
Ambrose
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